Ted McPain/Information

BackStory
Ted McPain was one of the great heroes of the first AI Wars, a long time ago. He has led his squad of elite super soldiers, the Killer Koala’s, against many opponents and has been decorated as an outstanding soldier a hundred times over. His ultimate achievement, during the climax of the First AI Wars, was a solo operation onto the AI’s battle station Starstorm. This mission ended in Ted McPain single handedly unhinging all of the station’s crucial power couplings, effectively making sure the station wouldn’t be completed before the end of the war. Ted McPain eventually died when he sacrificed himself to save the Sunny-Daisy Alien Orphanage from a band of bloodthirsty dinosaur zombies in 3021. Ted’s heroic deeds would never be forgotten.

He lived on as he became the star of various video games: Ted McPain I through XVII, Ted McPain: Zombie Blast, Ted McPain vs. evil Ted McPain and Ted McPain Unicorn Dance Karting.

When Voltar The Omniscient learned of the violent dimwitted video game star, he brewed up a plan that would backfire horribly. He created the Materializotron XT8000 with which he wanted to bring back the war hero of old to be his personal assistant. Extracting Ted McPain’s digital essence from his video games, Voltar managed to materialize a life-size flesh and blood version. The Ted McPain that appeared though was missing his pants for unknown reasons. Voltar waved the issue aside saying “Stop asking stupid questions! He looks fine to me.”

Theme song lyrics
Chorus (x2):

(Ted Mc Pain)

True heroes never fade away.

(Goes insane)

Got no pants on, still he looks okay.

End Chorus

Standing on the corner,

he's ready to be bold

Finger on the trigger,

his legs are kinda cold.

He's feeling like reborn,

like everything is new.

Now things are coming back,

a kind of deja vu, cause he is...

Chorus (X2)

There's no need to alter,

he's ready for the ride.

Thanks to his friend Voltar,

restored in all his pride.

And now again so strong,

just how he used to be.

His stars and striped thong,

do make him feel so free...

...'Cause he is:

Chorus (x2)

Voice actor: Brandon Delagraentiss

Taunts
v-tp-taunt2.ogg "Say, what? Again?" - A reference to Pulp Fiction.

v-tp-taunt1.ogg "I had the perfect line for this moment... But I forgot it."

v-tp-taunt3.ogg "Get your tickets to the gun show."

v-tp-taunt4.ogg "This is war, son! Get a real gun!" - A reference to Team Fortress 2 character, the Soldier.

Help
v-tp-low1.ogg "Bullets! My only weakness..." - A reference to Harold and Kumar.

v-tp-low2.ogg "Help? McPain don't need help! Uh... please?"

v-tp-low3.ogg "Don't make me ragequit!"

Attack
v-tp-attack1.ogg "Bring the pain!"

v-tp-attack2.ogg "Rock on!"

v-tp-attack3.ogg "If we just rush in, we'll be fine!"

v-tp-attack4.ogg "We have them surrounded, at least from this side." - A reference to Team Fortress 2 character, the Soldier.

Defend
v-tp-defend1.ogg "Man up!"

v-tp-defend2.ogg "We need to fall back!"

v-tp-defend3.ogg "Back it up! Beep, beep!"

Purchase
v-tp-shop1.ogg "Ted McPain is making it rain!"

v-tp-shop2.ogg "New content available? Yes!"

v-tp-shop3.ogg "Now, if only I could get some pants..."

v-tp-shop4.ogg "Free bullets? Why not?"

v-tp-shop5.ogg "Pants or guns? ...Guns!"

Teleporting
v-tp-tele1.ogg "Back to the checkpoint!"

v-tp-tele2.ogg "Too much fun! Undies need changing."

v-tp-spawn05.ogg "Where's my pants?"

Chosen
v-tp-spawn09.ogg "Kaboom, baby!" - A reference to the Marauder, a unit from StarCraft II.

v-tp-spawn10.ogg "No pain, no gain."

v-tp-spawn06.ogg "I'm Ted McPain: One Man Army."

v-tp-spawn05.ogg "Where's my pants?"

Drop Pod In
v-tp-spawn01.ogg "Explosions. My favorite kind of entrance."

v-tp-spawn02.ogg "Bringing out the big guns."

v-tp-spawn03.ogg "Let's have a blast." - A reference to the Marauder, a unit from Starcraft II.

v-tp-spawn04.ogg "What I think about the war? I think we should win!"

v-tp-spawn07.ogg "Battle plan? I'll just stick to guns."

v-tp-spawn08.ogg "BAM!"

Drop Pod In (Starstorm)
v-tp-spawnSS.ogg "Starstorm station... Feels like coming home!"

Killing Blow
v-tp-kill1.ogg "That's what I'm talking about."

v-tp-kill3.ogg "Looks like I caught you with my pants down!"

v-tp-kill4.ogg "P-p-p-p-p-p-power!" - Possible reference to Terry Crews.

Killing Spree
v-tp-spree1.ogg "You can hurt some people some of the time, but you can't hurt the king of pain!"

v-tp-spree2.ogg "We got ourselves a stew going!" - A reference to actor Carl Weathers on the comedy series Arrested Development.

v-tp-spree5.ogg "Smells like victory!"

v-tp-spree3.ogg "Ted McDonald had a gun. Boom-boom-boom-boom boom!" - A reference to the Old Macdonald Had a Farm song.

v-tp-spree4.ogg "All aboard the McPain train! Choo-choo!" - A possible reference to Cole Train, from the Gears of Wars series

Being Hit
v-tp-painl2.ogg "Ow!"

v-tp-painl1.ogg "Argh!"

v-tp-painh2.ogg "Ahhh!"

v-tp-painh4.ogg "Ahhh!"

v-tp-painh5.ogg "Arghhh!"

v-tp-painl4.ogg "Ouch!"

v-tp-painl3.ogg "Ugh!"

v-tp-painh3.ogg "Ughhh!"

v-tp-painh1.ogg *High-pitched scream*

On Death
v-tp-death1.ogg "Caught... with my pants down..."

v-tp-death2.ogg "I'll be back." - A reference to Terminator.

v-tp-death3.ogg "I shall respawn!"

v-tp-death4.ogg "Ted McSlain."

v-tp-death5.ogg "Oh no! My K/D!" - K/D (also known as KDR) means kill-to-death ratio, a statistic that certain games (primarily first- and third-person shooters) keep track of.

Using Airstrike
v-tp-skill1a.ogg "Special delivery!"

v-tp-skill1b.ogg "Nothing better than the smell of ozone in the morning!" - A reference to the popular "Smell of napalm in the morning" quote from the Apocalypse Now movie.

Using Stimpack
v-tp-skill2a.ogg *roar*

v-tp-skill2b.ogg *roar* "Let's go!"

Switching to Machine Gun
v-tp-skill4a.ogg "Heavy machine gun!" - Possible reference to Metal Slug.

v-tp-skill4b.ogg "Full auto!"

Using Machine Gun
v-tp-shotmg1.ogg "This is the dangerous end!"

v-tp-shotmg2.ogg "Ahhh, don't run!"

v-tp-shotmg3.ogg "Get some!"

v-tp-shotmg4.ogg "Rat-a-tat-tat, the sound of my gat!

v-tp-shotmg5.ogg "Pow!"

Switching to Shotgun
v-tp-skill3.ogg "Shotgun!" - Possible reference to Metal Slug.

Using Shotgun
v-tp-shotsg1.ogg "Boom, baby!"

v-tp-shotsg2.ogg "Kapow!"

v-tp-shotsg4.ogg "Kaboom!"

v-tp-shotsg3.ogg "Reloading!"

Killing Ted McPain
v-tp-killtp.ogg "There's only one real Ted McPain!"

Killing Sentry X-58
v-tp-killse1.ogg *gasp* "Ha! Take that, you tin can!"

v-tp-killse2.ogg "You infiltrate, I disintegrate!"

Killing Skree
v-tp-killsk1.ogg "Where are your spirits now, Skree?"

v-tp-killsk2.ogg "It's time to meet your new idol, Skree!"

v-tp-killsk3.ogg "Skree got in for a long day. A loong day." - Possible reference to Terry Tate: Office Linebacker commercial.

Promotional
tppromo5.ogg "The Starstorm is upon us!"

tppromo4.ogg "The Starstorm is here!"

tppromo2.ogg "New music!"

tppromo3.ogg "New music!"

tppromo1.ogg "Early access available now!"

Party Boy McPain Quotes
Note: Party boy McPain shares some lines with the default skin.

Taunts
v-tp3-taunt3.ogg "What? I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am!"

v-tp3-taunt4.ogg "Look at your score. Now look at mine. Back to your score. Now back to mine..." - Reference to the Old Spice commercials starring Isaiah Mustafa.

v-tp3-taunt1.ogg "Enough about you! Let's talk about me!" - A reference to Johnny Bravo.

v-tp3-taunt2.ogg "Got any tape? 'cause I'm ripped!"

v-tp3-taunt5.ogg "You are getting front row tickets to the McPain show!"

Help
v-tp3-low1.ogg "Help me out!"

v-tp3-low3.ogg "It's getting a little bit too hot!"

v-tp3-low2.ogg "This is getting outta hand!"

Attack
v-tp3-attack1.ogg "Attack! How can you say no to these muscles?"

v-tp3-attack2.ogg "Let's give'em a show!"

v-tp3-attack3.ogg "Let's get to work!"

Defend
v-tp3-defend1.ogg "Defend!"

v-tp3-defend2.ogg "This party's too hot!"

Purchase
v-tp3-shop1.ogg "Mmm! Looking good!"

v-tp3-shop4.ogg "Nobody wears it like Ted McPain!"

v-tp3-shop5.ogg "This will match my hat!"

v-tp3-shop2.ogg "Is this big enough?"

v-tp3-shop3.ogg "This is just my size!"

v-tp3-shop6.ogg '''"I look better than you!" *Laughs*'''

Teleporting
v-tp3-tele1.ogg "Now don't you go anywhere! Imma be right back!"

v-tp3-tele2.ogg "Heading back to party central!"

v-tp3-tele3.ogg "Don't forget to tip your waitress!"

Chosen
v-tp3-spawn6.ogg "Let's get the McPain show on the road!"

v-tp3-spawn8.ogg "No pain, no muscle gain!"

v-tp3-spawn10.ogg "Oh yeah! Look at these muscles!"

v-tp3-spawn9.ogg "I am a thing of beauty!"

Drop Pod In
v-tp3-spawn1.ogg "Explosions. My favorite kind of entrance."

v-tp3-spawn2.ogg (Singing) "If loving me is wrong, you don't wanna be right!"

v-tp3-spawn7.ogg "Ted's here for your entertainment!"

v-tp3-spawn8.ogg "No pain, no muscle gain!"

v-tp3-spawn10.ogg "Oh yeah! Look at these muscles!"

v-tp3-spawn4.ogg "Hellooo, ladies!"

v-tp3-spawn3.ogg "Space: It's really, really, reallyyyyy big..."

v-tp3-spawn5.ogg "Your eyes' up here, thank you very much!"

Drop Pod In on Starstorm
v-tp3-spawnSS.ogg "Starstorm station... Feels like coming home!"

Killing Blow
v-tp3-kill1.ogg "Whoa, mama!" - A reference to Johnny Bravo.

v-tp3-kill5.ogg "The show must go on!"

v-tp3-kill4.ogg "Hoo! Ha! Hoo!" - A reference to Johnny Bravo.

v-tp3-kill2.ogg "Oh! I'm good!" - A reference to Johnny Bravo.

v-tp3-kill6.ogg "Ciao, baby!"

v-tp3-kill3.ogg "Beautiful!"

Killing Spree
v-tp3-spree2.ogg "I'll never stop being fabulous!"

v-tp3-spree1.ogg "Party harder!"

v-tp3-spree3.ogg "You know it, baby!"

v-tp3-spree4.ogg "And the crowd goes wild!"

Being Hit
v-tp3-painl1.ogg "Ah!"

v-tp3-painh2.ogg "Ahhh!"

v-tp3-painh4.ogg "Ahhh!"

v-tp3-painh5.ogg "Arghhh!"

v-tp3-painh1.ogg *High-pitched scream*

v-tp3-painl2.ogg "Ouch!"

v-tp3-painl4.ogg "Ouch!"

v-tp3-painl3.ogg "Ugh!"

v-tp3-painh3.ogg "Ohhh!"

On Death
v-tp3-death2.ogg "You'll... hear from... my... agent..."

v-tp3-death1.ogg "Not the face!"

Using Airstrike
v-tp3-skill1b.ogg "Step into the spotlight!"

v-tp3-skill1a.ogg "Look into the pretty light!"

Using Stimpack
v-tp3-skill2a.ogg *Roar* "Showtime!"

v-tp3-skill2b.ogg *Roar* "Showtime!"

Switching to Machine Gun
v-tp3-skill4b.ogg "Full auto!"

v-tp3-skill4a.ogg "Heavy machine gun!" - Possible reference to Metal Slug.

Using Machine Gun
v-tp3-shotmg2.ogg "Aaah, don't run!"

v-tp3-shotmg3.ogg "Get some!"

v-tp3-shotmg4.ogg "Rat-a-tat-tat, the sound of my gat!"

v-tp3-shotmg1.ogg "This is the dangerous end!"

v-tp3-shotmg5.ogg "Pow!"

Switching to Shotgun
v-tp3-skill3.ogg "Shotgun!" - Possible reference to Metal Slug.

Using Shotgun
v-tp3-shotsg1.ogg "Boom, baby!"

v-tp3-shotsg2.ogg "Kapow!"

v-tp3-shotsg4.ogg "Kaboom!"

v-tp3-shotsg3.ogg "Reloading!"

Killing Ted McPain
v-tp3-killtp.ogg "There's only one real Ted McPain!"

Killing Sentry X-58
v-tp3-killse1.ogg *gasp* "Ha! Take that, you tin can!"

v-tp3-killse2.ogg "You infiltrate, I disintegrate!"

Killing Skree
v-tp3-killsk2.ogg "It's time to meet your new idol, Skree!"

v-tp3-killsk3.ogg "Skree got in for a long day. A loong day." - Possible reference to Terry Tate: Office Linebacker commercial.

v-tp3-killsk1.ogg "Where are your spirits now, Skree?"

Titanium Ted Quotes
Note: Titanium Ted shares some lines with the default skin.

Taunts
v-tp2-taunt1.ogg "One, two, three, four, I love the Marine Corp!"

v-tp2-taunt7.ogg "Come get some!"

v-tp2-taunt5.ogg "Talk to the gun!"

v-tp2-taunt2.ogg "That don't faze me!" - Possibly a reference to the Terry Tate: Office Linebacker Reebok commercials.

v-tp2-taunt6.ogg "You can't fix stupid!"

v-tp2-taunt8.ogg "You talk the talk, do you walk the walk?" - A reference to Full Metal Jacket.

v-tp2-taunt4.ogg "Shoot them until they have bullet holes in their bullet holes!"

v-tp2-taunt3.ogg "Here to condense the nonsense!" - Possibly a reference to the Terry Tate: Office Linebacker Reebok commercials.

Help
v-tp2-low2.ogg "I'm getting torned up here!"

v-tp2-low4.ogg "I want those reinforcements, I want them NOW!" - A reference to the teaser trailer of the never released StarCraft: Ghost.

v-tp2-low5.ogg "That somehow hurt me!"

v-tp2-low1.ogg "Requesting evac!"

v-tp2-low3.ogg "They're all over us!"

Attack
v-tp2-attack2.ogg "Try to keep up!"

v-tp2-attack1.ogg "Go! Go! GO!" - A reference to the Marine from Starcraft.

v-tp2-attack3.ogg "Rock n' roll!" - A reference to the Marine from StarCraft.

v-tp2-attack4.ogg "We got movement! Proceed to eliminate!"

Defend
v-tp2-defend1.ogg "Hostiles inbound!"

v-tp2-defend5.ogg "They've breached the perimeter!"

v-tp2-defend3.ogg "Fall back! FALL BACK!" - A reference to the teaser trailer of the never released StarCraft: Ghost.

v-tp2-defend4.ogg "Let's book!"

v-tp2-defend2.ogg "Xenos incoming!"

Purchase
v-tp2-shop4.ogg "I don't know what this is, but I gotta have it!"

v-tp2-shop1.ogg "More bang for the buck!"

v-tp2-shop5.ogg "Gotta pay to win!"

v-tp2-shop2.ogg "Ohhh, I can't wait to try this one out!"

v-tp2-shop3.ogg "That's a thing of beauty!"

Teleporting
v-tp2-tele1.ogg "I must go. My guns need me."

v-tp2-tele2.ogg "Teleportation complete!"

v-tp2-tele3.ogg "Back to the rendezvous point!"

Chosen
allsuitedup.ogg "All suited up and ready to go!"

locknloaded.ogg "Locked and loaded!" - A reference to the Marine from StarCraft.

groovy.ogg "Groovy!" - A reference to Army of Darkness.

kickbutt.ogg "Time to kick some serious butt!" - A reference to Jim Raynor, a character in StarCraft.

Drop Pod In
allsuitedup.ogg "All suited up and ready to go!"

v-tp2-spawn6.ogg "Hoo-hah!"

v-tp2-spawn4.ogg "Make room for the big dog!"

v-tp2-spawn8.ogg "Last one alive, lock the door!" - A reference to Team Fortress 2 character, the Soldier.

locknloaded.ogg "Locked and loaded!"

v-tp2-spawn3.ogg "Rock on!"

v-tp2-spawn1.ogg "Stand Back!"

Drop Pod In on Starstorm
v-tp2-spawnSS.ogg "Starstorm station... Feels like coming home!"

Killing Blow
v-tp2-kill3.ogg "Hell, my grandma could've handled this mission!" - A reference to the teaser trailer of the never released StarCraft: Ghost.

v-tp2-kill1.ogg "360 noscope!" - A "360 No-Scope" is a trickshot in FPS games such as "Call of Duty" and "Halo" where players spin around in a full 360 degree angle (otherwise known as a full circle) and immediately shoot, usually resulting in a kill.

v-tp2-kill4.ogg "And stay down!"

v-tp2-kill5.ogg "This is my boomstick!" - A reference to Army of Darkness.

groovy.ogg "Groovy!"

v-tp2-kill2.ogg "Outstanding!" - A reference to the Marine from StarCraft.

Killing Spree
v-tp2-spree3.ogg "Squash'em like bugs!"

v-tp2-spree2.ogg "With great vengeance and furious anger!" - A reference to a biblical passage well known for being used in the movie Pulp Fiction.

v-tp2-spree1.ogg "All day, every day! Believe that!"

Being Hit
v-tp2-painh3.ogg "Ohhh!"

v-tp2-painh2.ogg "Ahhh!"

v-tp2-painh4.ogg "Ahhh!"

v-tp2-painh5.ogg "Arghhh!"

v-tp2-painh1.ogg *High-pitched scream*

v-tp2-painl3.ogg "Ugh!"

v-tp2-painl4.ogg "Ouch!"

v-tp2-painl1.ogg "Ah!"

v-tp2-painl2.ogg "Ah!"

On Death
v-tp2-death4.ogg "Game over man! Game over..." - A reference to Aliens.

v-tp2-death1.ogg "Go on without me!"

v-tp2-death2.ogg "Man down!"

v-tp2-death3.ogg "Pain... is weakness leaving the body!" - A reference to US Marine Corps propaganda.

Using Airstrike
v-tp2-skill1.ogg "Wrath of God incoming!"

Using Stimpack
v-tp2-skill2.ogg *Roar* "Let's go!"

Switching to Machine Gun
v-tp2-skill4a.ogg "Heavy machine gun!" - Possible reference to Metal Slug.

v-tp2-skill4b.ogg "Spray and pray!"

Using Machine Gun
v-tp2-shotmg1.ogg "This is the dangerous end!"

v-tp2-shotmg2.ogg "Aaah, don't run!"

v-tp2-shotmg3.ogg "Get some!"

v-tp2-shotmg4.ogg "Rat-a-tat-tat, the sound of my gat!

v-tp2-shotmg5.ogg "Pow!"

Switching to Shotgun
v-tp2-skill3.ogg "Shotgun! Old school!"

Using Shotgun
v-tp2-shotsg1.ogg "Boom, baby!"

v-tp2-shotsg2.ogg "Kapow!"

v-tp2-shotsg4.ogg "Kaboom!"

v-tp2-shotsg3.ogg "Reloading!"

Killing Ted McPain
v-tp2-killtp.ogg "There's only one real Ted McPain!"

Killing Sentry X-58
v-tp2-killse1.ogg *gasp* "Ha! Take that, you tin can!"

v-tp2-killse2.ogg "You infiltrate, I disintegrate!"

Killing Skree
v-tp2-killsk1.ogg "Where are your spirits now, Skree?"

v-tp2-killsk2.ogg "It's time to meet your new idol, Skree!"

v-tp2-killsk3.ogg "Skree got in for a long day. A looong day." - Possible reference to Terry Tate: Office Linebacker commercial.

Theme Song Lyrics:
Chorus

Captain Mc Pain

sails the seven galax-seas

he's making casualties

He wont restrain

And you won't run him a rig

Or you will dance the hempen jig

End Chorus

I was a little scallywag

Ever since that I was born

Day and night I stole and snagged

Until the early morn'

I started as a bilge rat

But that didn't last long

A pirate's what your looking at

So listen to my song

Cause he is:

(Chorus)

Don't ye ever risk it

You'll be a delicious dish

I cleave ye to the brisket

and feed ye to the fish.

I'm stealing that I snatch this

I'm proudly so to say

So batten down the hatches

A storm is on its way

The lookout in the crow's nest

My trustful young recruit

He saw a mighty treasure chest

With a motherload of loot

I let them know that we are here

Run a shot across the bow

Cause I'm thee mighty Boo-caneer

And I'll say Yo Ho Hoo!

Cause he is:

Taunts
v-tp4-taunt1.ogg "These skulls and crossbones carry yer name!"

v-tp4-taunt2.ogg "I hope you step on a barnacle!"

v-tp4-taunt3.ogg "Get the tar and feathers!"

v-tp4-taunt4.ogg "Avast this!"

v-tp4-taunt5.ogg "I'll make you walk the plank!"

v-tp4-taunt6.ogg "Stand and deliver!"

Help
v-tp4-low1.ogg "Pirate overboard!"

v-tp4-low2.ogg "I'm suffering! Arrrgh!"

v-tp4-low3.ogg "We're making water!"

v-tp4-low4.ogg "The black spot!" - A reference to the black spot used in Treasure Island.

Attack
v-tp4-attack1.ogg "Attack at starboard!"

v-tp4-attack2.ogg "Attaaack!"

v-tp4-attack3.ogg "Make shark food of 'em!"

v-tp4-attack4.ogg "Ramming speed!"

v-tp4-attack5.ogg "Man the cannons!"

Defend
v-tp4-defend1.ogg "Defend!"

v-tp4-defend2.ogg "Aaargh, defend!"

v-tp4-defend3.ogg "Hole in the ship!"

v-tp4-defend4.ogg "Patch that hole!"

v-tp4-defend5.ogg "Hoist our defenses!"

v-tp4-defend6.ogg "To the crow's nest!"

Purchase
v-tp4-shop1.ogg "Can't I just pillage and plunder this stuff?"

v-tp4-shop2.ogg "Those be cutthroat prices!"

v-tp4-shop3.ogg "How many dubloons?"

v-tp4-shop4.ogg "I can pay with an arm and a leg! Hah hah hah!"

v-tp4-shop5.ogg "La isla mercado!"

v-tp4-shop6.ogg "Hmm... I need a bigger boat!"

v-tp4-shop7.ogg "Is this Stan's Previously Owned Vessels?" - A reference to Monkey Island

Teleporting
v-tp4-tele1.ogg "Buccaneer! Bucca-far! Hah hah hah hah!"

v-tp4-tele2.ogg "Gotta get this woodrot outta me!"

v-tp4-tele3.ogg "Don't worry! I always return!"

v-tp4-tele4.ogg "Yarrrgh! Teleporting makes me seasick!"

v-tp4-tele5.ogg "Like getting yer spine ripped out!"

Chosen
v-tp4-kill4.ogg "Kill or be shark food!"

v-tp4-spawn3.ogg "I'm the undeadest terror ever to stalk the seven galax-seas!"

v-tp4-kill3.ogg "Yarrr!"

Drop Pod In
v-tp4-spawn1.ogg "I've returned to pester - and slaughter - the living!"

v-tp4-spawn2.ogg "Who be sayin' pirates are all drunk ninnies?"

v-tp4-spawn3.ogg "I'm the undeadest terror ever to stalk the seven galax-seas!"

v-tp4-spawn4.ogg "Lemme scare the living soul out of ye landlubbers!"

v-tp4-spawn5.ogg "Gout. Gangrene. I survived it all. Wait, no I didn't!"

v-tp4-spawn6.ogg "Ah, the sight of fresh powder before my cannons!"

v-tp4-spawn7.ogg "Ohh, the taste of sea urchins beneath my barnacled boot!"

v-tp4-spawn8.ogg "Hah hah haaaargh!"

v-tp4-spawn9.ogg "Pirate McPain will put the suffering in yer sails!"

v-tp4-spawn10.ogg "First one to sing 'You're a crook, Captain Hook', walks the plank!" - A reference to a running gag from the TV series Arrested Development.

v-tp4-spawn11.ogg "I once dated a fiery sea wench... with eight squiggly arms!"

v-tp4-spawn12.ogg "I bought this jacket at Stan's- I-I-I mean... T-t-t-t-the Sea Lords... b-bestowed it on me!"

v-tp4-spawn13.ogg "I was born with sea legs. And then I died with 'em!"

Killing Blow
v-tp4-kill1.ogg "To heck with ya!"

v-tp4-kill2.ogg "Arrr!"

v-tp4-kill3.ogg "Yarrr!"

v-tp4-kill4.ogg "Kill or be shark food!"

v-tp4-kill5.ogg  *Singing 'You're a crook, Captain Hook'* 

v-tp4-kill6.ogg "Yer soul be mine!"

v-tp4-kill7.ogg "Burial at sea. Hah hah hah hah hah!"

v-tp4-kill8.ogg "Boom, goes the cannon!"

v-tp4-kill9.ogg "Sail away! Hah hah hah hah hah!"

Killing Spree
v-tp4-spree1.ogg "I'm the salt in your spray!"

v-tp4-spree2.ogg "I'm the greater of two weevils!"

v-tp4-spree3.ogg "It's the secret of Cutthroat Island!" - A possible reference to the film Cutthroat Island.

v-tp4-spree4.ogg "Feed the Cannon!"

v-tp4-spree5.ogg "I have the largest pirate hat!"

v-tp4-spree6.ogg "Neptune's navel, that was good!"

Being Hit
v-tp4-painh1.ogg "Yarrrgh!"

v-tp4-painh2.ogg "Argh!"

v-tp4-painh3.ogg "Argh!"

v-tp4-painh4.ogg "Argh!"

v-tp4-painh5.ogg "Argh!"

v-tp4-painl2.ogg "Argh!"

v-tp4-painl1.ogg "Ugh!"

v-tp4-painl3.ogg "Ugh!"

v-tp4-painl4.ogg "Ugh!"

v-tp4-painl5.ogg "Hey!"

On Death
v-tp4-death1.ogg "The sunk my ship!"

v-tp4-death2.ogg "Down to the locker!"

v-tp4-death3.ogg "Davy... My old friend..."

v-tp4-death4.ogg "A watery grave for me!"

v-tp4-death5.ogg "Yarrrgh!"

v-tp4-death6.ogg "El pollo diablo!"

v-tp4-death7.ogg "Drop dead, you said?"

Using Airstrike
v-tp4-skill1-1.ogg "Demon fire!"

v-tp4-skill1-2.ogg "Anchors away!"

v-tp4-skill1-3.ogg "Drop anchor!"

v-tp4-skill1-4.ogg "Light'em up!"

Using Stimpack
v-tp4-skill2-1.ogg "Yarrrgh!"

v-tp4-skill2-2.ogg "Avast!"

Switching to Machine Gun
v-tp4-skill4.ogg "Yarrrgh!"

Using Machine Gun
v-tp4-shotmg1.ogg "Sink'em!"

v-tp4-shotmg2.ogg "Yarrrgh hah hah hah!"

Switching to Shotgun
v-tp4-skill3.ogg "Yarrrgh!"

Using Shotgun
v-tp4-shotsg1.ogg "Fire!"

v-tp4-shotsg2.ogg "Yarrr!"

Meeting another friendly pirate skin/'naut
v-tp4-meetpiratefriend1.ogg "Let's raise a cutlass, fellow pirate!"

v-tp4-meetpiratefriend2.ogg "Can I get a Yarrr?"

Killing another pirate skin/'naut
v-tp4-killpirate1.ogg "Hah! A landlubber after all, I see!"

v-tp4-killpirate2.ogg "May the most rotten pirate win!"

Character








Party Boy McPain
''It's time to get wild, baby! Celebrating a Bachelorette, Bar Mitzvah, Birthday, Graduation, or want to spice up your family Christmas dinner? No matter the occasion, you can hire Party Boy McPain for your next event. Anytime... Anywhere... Saddle up!''

This DLC contains a custom skin for Ted McPain in Awesomenauts: Starstorm, and comes with a fully customized voice set! - Official Steam Store Description.

This skin gives Ted a cowboy-themed stripper costume. It has a pink cowboy hat and pink kneepads, leggings, a thong, jacket, star-shaped stickers covering his nipples, sleeve cuffs, heart-shaped sunglasses, and a bowtie collar.

Ted's jumppack is removed and his guns have golden stars attached to them, while Airstrike has a star-shaped beacon. Ted also leaves behind a trail of banknotes as he moves, similarly to Vinnie & Spike.

Being a premium skin, Party Boy McPain comes with many unique lines as well.

Titanium Ted
''When things get too hot, Ted rocks his Titanium Marine outfit. This armor has withstood gunfire, acid, solar flares, psionic radiation, power swords, plasma cannons, Zurian butterknives and rabid blowfish during the many battles Ted has fought. The armor comes with air-conditioning, aim assist, onboard battlefield diagnostics, cable television and a built in candy cotton machine. It's time to get TITANIUM.''

This DLC contains a custom skin for Ted McPain in Awesomenauts: Starstorm, and comes with a fully customized voice set! - Official Steam Store Description.

This skin gives Ted an armor that covers his entire body. It hides exposed skin by adding leggings, armor on the forearms and a crested helmet with an orange visor. The armor is darker in color in comparison to that of the default skin and features details such as spiked shoulderpads and elbow pads.

It also removes Ted's jumppack, gives Airstrike a skull-shaped beacon at the targeted area and alters the visuals of his guns, with the shotgun looking more advanced and the machine gun featuring a bayonet.

Finally, being a premium skin, Titanium Ted comes with many unique lines. These also have a radio filter effect, sounding slightly different in comparison to Ted's normal voice.

Scourge Capitain McPain
This skin requires the Awesomenauts base game AND the Awesomenauts: Starstorm expansion.

''Captain McPain was a feared pirate throughout the seven galaxies. The man was well-known for his stature, his ability to carry around a full-sized cannon by himself, and his skill in actually firing the thing. He boarded many shipping vessels, claimed some booty, and distributed it fairly amongst his crew. He was as much a gentlemen as he was a fearsome rogue.''

''But disaster struck when one day he boarded a vessel operated by the Order of Popae Monks. When one of the monks was accidentally sucked out of the airlock, The Grand Space Butterfly took offense and cursed the pirate and his crew. On that day, Captain McPain became a ghost that would forever haunt the shipping lanes throughout the Galaxy. A haunting visage that strikes fear into those that travel the void!''

''This DLC contains a custom skin for Ted McPain in Awesomenauts: Starstorm. The Scourge Captain McPain skin comes with a unique character theme, killing spree theme, a unique voiceover, and special in-game audio effects for his abilities.'' - Official Steam Store description.

This skin gives Ted the appearance of a ghost pirate. His skin is sickly green and glows, his mouth is filled with jagged teeth, and he wears and eye patch and has a white beard. He has a pirate's hat with a very large feather on top of it. In this skin, he's given brown pants and leather boots. He wears a captain uniform with shoulder pads that have skulls on them. He also has a large cape. His machine gun is altered to look like an oversized flintlock pistol while his shotgun looks like a ship's cannon.

His Machinegun bullets are ghostly green and leave a faint trail. His Shotgun blast looks like a skull and is surrounded in green smoke. Grenades from Ted McPain Unicorn Dance Karting become bombs, and they are marked with an X when they're armed. Airstrike is marked with dotted lines leading to an X, and the impact of Airstrike is now a massive anchor falling from the sky (the anchor will not appear if Princess Adlez Phonenumber is bought). Using Stimpack will unleash a ghostly green figure from Ted and play the instrumental version of his theme song (this feature was added after official release in Patch 3.4).

Being ultimate, this skin comes with unique voice acting as well as a unique theme song and killing spree.

Awesomenaut Showcase
Showcase starts at 0:30 of the video, ends at 0:52.

Trivia

 * Ted McPain was the first Starstorm exclusive Awesomenaut to be released.
 * Ted McPain was the first character to be released with two premium skins. He was also the first character to not have a non-premium skin.
 * With over 230 total voice files (both premium skins included), Ted McPain has the largest amount of lines in the game.
 * The Killer Koala logo can be seen on Ted McPain's machine gun in his splash art.
 * Ted Mcpain is one of the three 'nauts that originate from Earth (the others being Raelynn and Yuri).
 * In the Awesomenauts timeline according to his lore, Ted McPain died 566 years ago before being brought back to life by Voltar.
 * Titanium Ted has a "16" decal on his splash art. It's probably referencing the fact that he was the 16th 'naut to be released in the game.
 * Ted McPain's design closely resembles and is likely a parody of a Space Marine from Warhammer 40k or Starcraft.
 * Ted McPain is the first and only character to have an extended version of his character theme.
 * Scourge Captain McPain is the first Starstorm ultimate skin to be added to the game.
 * Titanium Ted had three different splash art and in-game looks. The first one was a space marine very similar to the StarCraft II version of Jim Raynor and was altered by Ronimo Games to avoid copyright issues with Blizzard Entertainment . A temporary replacement skin was made and removed all the references the previous one had. It stayed around for a short while until Ronimo replaced it with the more detailed, current version. All three versions can be seen below. Ronimo Games offered full refunds to anyone who had purchased the skin prior to its changes.
 * Titanium Ted's original splash art also had what appears to be a Skroggle Skull insignia on his left shoulder, noting a parallel between Skroggles and the Zerg.